Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
