Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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