All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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