I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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