A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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