did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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