My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
