We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
