I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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