Me. At least after what I've been through.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
