Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
