you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
