Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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