Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
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