I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
