I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
