Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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