do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
