Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
