Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
