I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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