tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
it was like eating out sand paper
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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