Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
