Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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