She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
