There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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