let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
