Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I don't deserve a penis
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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