i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
