wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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