Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
