i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
