I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Life is so much better after having sex.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
