I got chris browned last night
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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