omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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