I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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