if i can run in heels then i can drive
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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