So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
