you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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