My room smells like vodka and shame
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
someone owes me an orgasm
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
