Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
