i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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