I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i out mim tonsoeep
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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