oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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