So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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