I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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