Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
