he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
