No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
