I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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