Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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