She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
