Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize