do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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