She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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