I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
