he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
