How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
