She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
