I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize