Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
