i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
